Bakso I have to admit that my love for cooking is growing. It's growing and I can't believe it myself. This feeling has been like this since probably two years ago. Before, cooking felt like a hard work that I had to fulfill. It still is, but the difference is I enjoy it now. So it does not feel like I am forcing myself. Back then whenever I cooked, it's either wrong recipe or incorrect measurement. It never tasted right. So I gave up cooking just because I never found the right one. And then I started to feel that I wanna eat better. I don't want to just eat whatever, I want to know what goes into my body. If I prepare it myself, then I know it's good one. I don't eat too much sugar, sometimes it is hard to buy one thing outside and has a lot of sugar in it. So cooking it myself will allow me to control the amount of sugar. So I found recipes and I tried to make them. As to my surprise, they taste right! Exactly how they should have tasted. That made me happy
2021 is personally not an easy year. It's the year where I questioned my existence as a human being. I thought being a kind person was enough. Obviously, I felt insecure when the closest person told me how I was not special, doing less than what I could. That triggered me and I started to ask myself "What am I doing on this earth? What's my purpose as a human? What am I going to do? What do I want to do? What do I want to become? What kind of future do I want? What am I?" That person only became the trigger, yet the problems existed inside me. So I realized completely that it was about me, not someone else. There was something wrong with me. When I knew that the problem is me, I seek help. Lucky me (or should I say, unlucky me?), I didn't have those scary nights alone. My best friend went through the same, so we're kinda helping each other. Though the trigger was different we felt the same symptoms and side effects. Yea I had those questions for a few month