In attempts to slow_myself_down_away_from_digital_life, I am getting my hands on film camera. Yes, the kind of camera where you need to put the film roll in and then start snapping. If you are lucky, the pictures will turn up good but if not then we let the fate decide. This is not my first rodeo on using film camera, but it definitely the first ever to buy the film and develop it using my own money. It is not cheap, which I know. What can I say, it's an expensive hobby. I used my first film roll to take photos of my favorite people. So it has more human than random pictures. It was on family event. After the last shot, I wanted to develop it before I flew to Bali but they had no lab. Luckily we have the lab in Bali. I developed and scanned the film in Ojisanfilmlab Bali. They're just a google away. They sell the roll as well. I had to tell the TSA to do the hand checking rather putting it through the scanner. They understood. Cimol hides himself in his favorite spot ...
Sanur
Introverts are yearning for deep talks and always exhausted for small talks. Small talks can be fun, but only when it's not too much. Deep talk is always energizing. I didn't know back then. It was weird for me that I can't jump into society as smoothly as my friends. I can't do small talks with my neighbors. I tend to stay at home and enjoy my own battle in my mind. I felt that people think I am a quiet person.
When I start to have my own ideas, opinions, and such, I told myself that I am not someone who can't talk. I remember my English teacher gave us the task to find foreigners to have small conversations with. I didn't live in Bali so I can't just randomly bump into foreigners so we did it from the internet. I guess I am addicted to it because I found some great people to discuss with and we're still being friends today.
Don't you worry, introverts make some friends too. Fellow introverts 😂 No, I mean, I have some extrovert friends and we are working hard to understand each other in the beginning. Once you understand how you roll, everything will be fine. Introverts are not lonely, we're just... enjoy our time alone that much compared to extroverts.
The conversations I have are getting more interesting because obviously, I am not a high school student anymore, life hit you so damn hard, you need some insights from neutral sides about everything. Sometimes we can't see what's in front of us until someone tells us.
our favorite spot to go, an empty space.
Someone told me that simple is harder than complex. So I understand that my thoughts are pretty complicated, I tend to think about (almost) everything deeply, if I want to let people know what I think about without simplifying those then they won't understand what I mean. Because when I can be too lazy to explain, whatever comes from my mouth would be "Yea whatever, up to you. It's okay, it's not okay"
My brain is so crowded, I was born that way too. This is also the reason why I blog. Blogging helps me to put everything down in its own boxes. Sometimes you'll read something interesting, sometimes you'll read a piece of my personal thought that probably bore you 😝. I feel so overwhelmed when I did nothing. When I have nothing to do then I start to over-thinking. So I always keep my mind busy. It's how I cope with recent situations lately. It's not fun I can say, but I have to.
I am quite a talker when I meet interesting people. I am a quiet person when I feel they're just talking nonsense. This is not about who's wrong or who's right. It's only about what I prefer to have. 😉
Slowly but sure, I have to make sure that I fit into society. I don't mean that I need to please people, no. I never do that. I just mean, I know where to put myself if I am in the middle of the crowds. This is not so easy task to do. I tried my best to do it until a friend of mine said "I want to be like you. You can always get to know new people easily, you can jump into something smoothly, you don't feel awkward in the middle of people you don't know, you always have something to talk about." That got me thinking actually, "Oh wow, I am working that hard to put myself in a place where I can still enjoy it but not make someone else feel awkward too"
Hey, I don't say you need to follow what society expects you to do or to have, eh? Nah. Just be yourself. Knowing where to stand will help too!
Of course, after I do all of that, I'll come home exhausting and need to charge my energy all day all night by myself. 😓
Anyway, are you an introvert too? 😎
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