Taken at 3am-ish Tahun ini adalah tahun ke-4 gw nyepi di Bali. Ketagihan banyak Nyepi di Bali. Tahun ini juga semua serangkaian Nyepi terasa kembali normal. Normal dalam artian, kegiatan yang berhubungan dengan Nyepi sudah mulai dilaksanakan secara utuh. Karena 2-3 tahun sebelumnya masih nggak 100%, kali ini jauh lebih meriah. Upacara dimana-mana. Jalanan ditutup, diputar, dimana-mana. Melasti yang bisa aja kalau kalian nggak tau ya "kejebak" macet. Gw nggak suka keramaian, tapi prosesi-prosesi kejutan yang gw nggak sengaja liat di jalanan tuh menyenangkan sekali. Riuhnya kerasa buat gw. Big offerings 2-3 tahun lalu, seingat gw ATM tuh tutupnya H-1 Nyepi tapi jam-jam sore. Tahun ini jam 10 pagi ATM udah mati semua. Tahun ini juga gw tiba-tiba perlu urus visa yang mepet Nyepi, dengan janji temu hari kamis. Hari kamis ini masih ngembak geni, kegiatan belum ada yang 100%. Kalaupun ada pasti bukanya di atas jam 10 atau jam 1 siang. Gw perlu print beberapa dokumen terakhir yang
March '21. Me, during the lowest point of my life. Yes, I still smile and dead inside lol. 2021 is personally not an easy year. It's the year where I questioned my existence as a human being. I thought being a kind person was enough. Obviously, I felt insecure when the closest person told me how I was not special, doing less than what I could. That triggered me and I started to ask myself "What am I doing on this earth? What's my purpose as a human? What am I going to do? What do I want to do? What do I want to become? What kind of future do I want? What am I?" That person only became the trigger, yet the problems existed inside me. So I realized completely that it was about me, not someone else. There was something wrong with me. When I knew that the problem is me, I seek help. Lucky me (or should I say, unlucky me?), I didn't have those scary nights alone. My best friend went through the same, so we're kinda helping each other. Though the trigger was d