In this extraordinary life, I would be a teacher still. Helping people to understand even some little things to make them feel worthy and understand themselves better. It seems that teaching has become a calling for me. Not about teaching such specific subject like mathematics or so, but more like... I like to give new perspectives for people, and having them saying "Oh.... I see..." is satisfying for me. Of course, by teaching I can learn so many new perspectives from different people too. It's like the more I teach the more I learn, and that is so true. Maybe more like a guide. I like giving guidance to people who needs it. No, I don't like giving unsolicited guiding. I like to guide people who wants to be guided. I'd teach them how to love, love themselves first. Yea sure when we are talking about things, they would say "do useful things like engineering, plumbing, this and that" but they tend to forget that we need some balance in life. Not saying t
2021 is personally not an easy year. It's the year where I questioned my existence as a human being. I thought being a kind person was enough. Obviously, I felt insecure when the closest person told me how I was not special, doing less than what I could. That triggered me and I started to ask myself "What am I doing on this earth? What's my purpose as a human? What am I going to do? What do I want to do? What do I want to become? What kind of future do I want? What am I?" That person only became the trigger, yet the problems existed inside me. So I realized completely that it was about me, not someone else. There was something wrong with me. When I knew that the problem is me, I seek help. Lucky me (or should I say, unlucky me?), I didn't have those scary nights alone. My best friend went through the same, so we're kinda helping each other. Though the trigger was different we felt the same symptoms and side effects. Yea I had those questions for a few month