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Showing posts from December, 2021

I Thought I Hate People, but...

Sanur ... but I actually don't! That I realized when I had dinner with H and he asked me, "Do you think she's married? The seller, she looks young but not too young."  So I said, "Uhmm I don't know and I don't care."  He then said again, "Yea I know, but I am curious about people. I am curious about what they're doing in life." That's when it came to my mind, "Wait a minute! I am also curious about people, but not their personal life like marital status, how many kids they have, what religion they believe in. I am curious about what they think about things! Ah that's why I love talking to people, no matter how introvert I am but talking to people still excites me." Then we finished our big nasi goreng together.  Looking back at it, I never really like people randomly talking to me when I was in the zone... Like zoning in and out talking to myself. But actually no, maybe it was only that we didn't sync so I went &qu

Lessons Learned in 2021

March '21. Me, during the lowest point of my life. Yes, I still smile and dead inside lol. 2021 is personally not an easy year. It's the year where I questioned my existence as a human being. I thought being a kind person was enough.  Obviously, I felt insecure when the closest person told me how I was not special, doing less than what I could. That triggered me and I started to ask myself "What am I doing on this earth? What's my purpose as a human? What am I going to do? What do I want to do? What do I want to become? What kind of future do I want? What am I?"  That person only became the trigger, yet the problems existed inside me. So I realized completely that it was about me, not someone else. There was something wrong with me. When I knew that the problem is me, I seek help. Lucky me (or should I say, unlucky me?), I didn't have those scary nights alone. My best friend went through the same, so we're kinda helping each other. Though the trigger was d

Melihat dari Kacamata yang Berbeda

Jalan Veteran - UM Dua minggu gw di Jawa. Rencana awal hanya pulang karena sepupu menikah, tapi ternyata diperpanjang sampai 2 minggu gegara tiket penerbangan yang tiba-tiba 2,5 juta dan 7 juta lol.   Gw pakai kesempatan ini untuk ketemu temen-temen gw. Temen deket gw yang udah lama banget nggak ketemu. Tadinya sih nggak mau woro-woro agar ku tak perlu banyak keluar rumah dan yaa gw nggak suka juga terlalu banyak keluar rumah. Panas banget hey, jalanan padat pula. Paling juga keluar karena gw pengen makan makanan yang gw nggak bisa dapet di Bali.  Tapi, ketemu temen-temen deket gw bener-bener hal yang bikin melek pikiran. Banyak banget perubahan mereka, menjadi pribadi yang lebih hebat dan gw terpesona dengan perkembangan mental mereka. Kita banyak cerita soal kehidupan dan lain sebagainya. Kesemuanya merupakan hal-hal yang pantas dibicarakan untuk dipetik pelajarannya. Hebatnya lagi, mereka nggak menggurui sama sekali. Bangga banget gw, beruntung karena lingkaran pertemanan gw yang