About Pregnancy

Nope! I am not pregnant yet. I just want to talk about pregnancy where people here will consider normal if you get it as soon as possible (or not delaying). Well... I guess I become more flexible nowadays for reasons.

We talked in a group and a friend asked about another friend's pregnancy to another friend. Do you get what I mean? Let say friend A ask friend B about friend C whether she is pregnant yet. Instead of asking directly to friend C, friend A chose to ask friend B. I ask why... friend A said that she is afraid that it is not appropriate to ask her directly because she is afraid that friend C might get offended or mad of that pregnancy question (which is like an obligatory question to newlywed). Friend C is married for almost 5 years I believe, so far I know she has no baby yet. Friend A said that she got really offended when people ask her about pregnancy in her first month of marriage. I simply said 'If you get offended then don't try to offend your friend with that question'.

Then I told her that question is not supposed to be asked. Some people think it is for fun only but for some people to be asked about pregnancy is annoying. I may sound not so Indonesia, but I do agree that asking about pregnancy is super annoying. Even so many people here got offended by getting asked about pregnancy, but when they experience a pregnancy they will annoy other people by asking that question. Lingkaran setan!

One question could different answers and reasons.

In the first month of marriage (or even less), people start to ask 'Sudah isi?' or in English 'Are you pregnant yet?'. Newlywed have a bunch of reasons for one same question. If they say 'yes I am now', people will think that you are so fertile and smart to make a baby. Contradictory, they probably think if couples have no baby in a long time, it would be two reasons, not fertile and not that smart. Oh hey but if you are too quick to get pregnant, they will think that you did it before marriage and of course people will talking bad behind you. Tewur.

But, do you realize that there might be some other reasons too? Let say friend D and E, friend D getting pregnant straightly two months after getting married while friend E still waiting. Friend D try to giving a  lecture about how to get pregnant or how it is not wise to refuse the pregnancy blablablaaaa. But Friend D never know that friend E has tumour and in the middle of medication to get pregnant. Can you imagine how hurt her heart was?

Another case is having no chances yet, although they work hard for it. Some friends also want to delay their pregnancy for some reasons. Another friend really wants to get pregnant but the opportunity isn't coming yet. I am afraid she is depressed and stress that might be the main reason for not getting pregnant until today. I told her not to think about it too much, relax and take it easy. If you are not pregnant yet then it will be your chances to bond with your spouse before you have another responsibility. Why take it so seriously? It will come if it meant to come.

Some other friends who are already pregnant could so suddenly give you tips about how to get pregnant although you don't ask to. This is kinda annoying lol. And It is very funny when you already have one, and people start to ask again 'when will you make another one? your first baby needs a sibling' lol.

What about me? Masih berdua dan masih menikmatinya. I still want to have my own of course, but there are plenty of internal reasons that you don't need to know right? Or you want to tell me and lecture me that baby will bring their own destiny and rejeki? Don't worry I still believe that. It just pregnancy and having a baby is our domestic case. Besides, can you order a baby to be arrived whenever you want?

An aunty asked me after I got married for 2 months, directly ask 'are you pregnant yet?'. I said not yet. Then she starts to compare me with her another niece that directly getting pregnant after married, and said how smart they are to make a baby that quick. How did I respond to that? Laughing out loud. Do I actually care about the question? Not really 😁

I actually get less question than most people, probably because they know that my answer will knock them down? 😎 People have their own opinions and reasons in their life and you don't need to ask them unless if they tell you.


I kind of having concern in why I want a baby. Too many people said that they want to have babies in order to help and take care of them when they are old. Please don't. Don't have this kind of thought. Why? It will burden your kids. The obligatory to respect parents is definitely no compromise. But don't burden them to take care of you when you're getting older. They will have their own lives, they will have their own family, they need to take care of their stuff. I do believe some of kids will be so gladly take care of their parents when they are getting old. But have this idea of "my kids have to take care of me when I am old because I take care of them when they were baby" is scary 😑

I am sure not all of you agree with this. Tapi setidaknya janganlah kalian semena-mena judge kalau anak yang berpikiran seperti itu adalah anak durhaka. Berpikir seperti itu bukan berarti menjadi durhaka. Dan mungkin sebagai orangtua juga jangan berpikir jika anak tidak mampu mengikuti mau orangtua, janganlah mengatakan mereka durhaka. Kok sadis sekali bilang begitu. Kalo som eday nanti gw punya anak, gw nggak mau repotin mereka dimasa tua gw. Semoga gw bisa mandiri di masa tua gw.

And I think I know the reason why I want to have baby 😁

Everyone is different, for me, no one can be compared. It is not fair to compare one to another because it is just different. And being successful is not about you getting married early and have a baby soon. The more you compare the more you'll be less happy.

Because the goals are different for each people 😎

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Ke Kampoeng Heritage Malang Yuk!

 

Beberapa waktu yang lalu, salah satu teman ini nanya "Lu tau kampung heritage nggak? Yang ada di Malang?" Hohhh dimana yo?? Kagak tau dah. Nah pas maen kerumah temen, tak disangka tak dinyana rumah Desi disitu! Ya baru ngeh soalnya baru ada tulisan "WISATA KAMPOENG HERITAGE MALANG" di tembok depan rumah Desi. Beberapa kali kesana kok nggak ngeh kalo ada tulisan itu 😂

 

tulisan ini lho! Sumpah nggak ngeh 😂 tapi kata Desi emang baru sih  

nama-nama permainan jaman lawas. yang rumah kuning itu rumah 1870 tercatat sebagai rumah tertua di kampung ini

gobak sodor apa go back to door hayoo??

 
rumah penghulu  

 
Bulan April lalu, ada event di Kota Malang judulnya #SaveMalangHeritage. Berniat datang kesana, tapi ternyata gw bangun kesiangan 😅 not a morning person anymore btw. Yasudah acara lewat gitu aja. Nah kan minggu kemaren ini karena gw udah tau kalau rumah Desi ada di dalem Kampoeng Heritage, jadilah gw kesana bareng Sunan ini yang plek gw lah kalo soal vintage gitu.

 

Rumah Namsin. I was directed by a super perfectionist photographer. Gimana gaya gw? Persis emoji ini 😏 nggak ?

 

Rumah Namsin 

ngecatnya belum kelar ya, pas foto dibilangin sama tukangnya "Mbak ati2 yo iku jek tas tak cat" 😂 

Kita tadinya coba telusuri satu persatu dimulai dari gang rumahnya Desi, muter-muter situ kata mamaknya Desi kalo yang di gang 2 sama sebelah lebih bagus lagi. Akhirnya jalan lah kesana. Memang sih nggak semua rumah di kampung ini rumah lama, hanya ada beberapa aja yang didaulat sebagai rumah jaman lawas banget diantaranya Rumah 1870 warna kuning (yang kita mau foto trus gegara pagernya miring malah nggak jadi kita foto. geblek 😐), Rumah Namsin, pasar krempyeng (yang waktu kita kesana nggak ada apa-apanya, cuman pas event April aja dipake), dan banyak lainnya. Tapi karena kita bertiga buta arah bahkan si Desi yang tinggal disana aja nggak tau jadi kita nggak eksplor terlalu dalam.

travelingyuk.com

 

depan salah satu toko pasar krempyeng. sorry itu bukan ikutan sponsor rokok ya 😉

Berbeda dengan rumah-rumah kolonial di daerah Jalan Ijen yang cenderung megah mewah dengan halaman super luas dan rumah yang super gede, rumah-rumah disini adalah rumah kolonial khas kampung. Namanya juga kampung, ya bener-bener khas perkampungan dengan jalan yang sempit. Tapi seru kok jalan-jalan sore disini. Bisa sehat ya karena jalan lumayan panjang dan juga nyari rumahnya juga nyempil-nyempil butuh peta khusus wkwkw.

 

kalo dipikir-pikir lagi, kos gw di Malang dulu selama 6 tahun juga bentuknya begini. khas pagar sekaligus dudukan begini, ditambah bunga-bunga juga. Pantesan gw betah banget ya di kos itu dulu. kok sadarnya telat eeee  😂

 

Pemkot meresmikan Kampoeng Heritage ini sebagai salah satu destinasi wisata baru. Syukur-syukur kalo ntar jadi seperti Kampung Warna warni Jodipan yang ramai pengunjung. Karena salah satu tujuan diresmikannya wisata baru ini agar menambah penghasilan warga sekitar juga. Meskipun dari kunjungan kemarin rasanya masih belum terkoordinasi dengan baik sebagai tujuan wisata. Padahal sudah 4 bulan sejak diresmikan. Dan kemungkinan juga warga sekitar masih belum paham potensi kampung ini jika diolah dengan lebih serius.

 

Rumah depan pertigaan Jenki. Ini Sunan, fotografer perfeksionis yang gw kenal lol  

 

Pecinta sejarah, bangunan vintage, serta pengejar OOTD buat ngisi feed instagram pasti suka ke kampung ini. Dari dulu kebetulan gw suka banget sama hal-hal vintage atau lawas gitu. Dan bojoku kebetulan suka juga barang-barang vintage lawas ala kolonial alias ala negaranya. Jadi sering banget berburu bangunan-bangunan tua gitu. Sekitar Malang tengah kota udah ditelusuri, Surabaya juga. Nah yang pengen gw telusuri selanjutnya ini Semarang. Konon katanya banyak banget bangunan lawas disana, ala-ala Belanda gitu. Hun, ke Semarang tah iki ayok?

Jangan lupa juga kalo maen ke Malang, eksplor Kampoeng Heritage ini ya. Itung-itung selain belajar dan mengenal bangunan serta apapun yang lawas, kamu juga bisa jadi membantu perekonomian warga sekitar lho. Btw Kampoeng Heritage ini bersih banget lho. Serius!

 

bersih kan?

Btw kasih rekomendasi dong kota mana yang banyak bangunan lawas bersejarahnya 😁

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Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan

 

Selamat hari kemerdekaan negeriku. Meskipun usiamu baru (sudah) 73 tahun, tetaplah berjuang melawan kebobrokan yang dilakukan para oknum bangsa ini.

Kalau dilihat kebelakang, usia 73 tahun ini usia pensiun buat manusia. Tapi hell no untuk sebuah bangsa. Ini usia mateng-matengnya, produktif-produktifnya untuk menghasilkan sesuatu yang keren. Meskipun pula di usia yang sama, Korea Selatan udah super maju sedangkan kita gini-gini aja masih banyak koruptornya, saya percaya tiap bangsa juga punya timeline nya masing-masing. Ibarat kata temen kamu usia 23 udah punya 2 anak sedangkan kamu usia 27 belum juga nikah, so what? Hidup bukan balapan 😂

Disaat Korea Selatan udah bisa impor Kpopnya ke seluruh dunia, hape Samsungnya yang menguasai sebagian besar pasar dunia, internet super cepat yang bahkan belum diklik aja udah jalan, kita gimana? Masih berkutat berkelut dengan yang namanya isu politik agama dan ras. ternyata kita cukup rasis ya? 😐

Bahkan seringkali gw tengkar sama suami gw karena dia bilang "buat apa lo bangga sama kemerdekaan lo kalo pada akhirnya juga sebenernya lo belom merdeka? Bayangin kalo lo masih sama Belanda, bakal maju banget lo kayak negara kita. Nggak bakal lo hadepin yang namanya korupsi kebangetan, isu2 rasial macem gini". Hell no! Kita boleh aja pasutri, tapi hati ini seburuk apa negeri ini tetep ini tanah air gw. Yaaaa bagusnya kalo masih sama Belanda mungkin paspor kita kekuatannya setara paspor EU. Mungkin juga pembangunan akan lebih merata dan lebih "feels Europe" gitu, bisa jadi kalo gw kawin sama suami gw juga dokumennya nggak sulit, Tapi kok semuanya kek kepentingan gw sendiri ya???

Tapi gw tetep aja bangga sama kemerdekaan negeri ini yang diraih dengan susah payah. Mau orang islam, kristen, hindu, budha, cina, jawa, bali, papua bahkan beberapa orang asing yang hatinya jatuh kepada negeri, apapun itu, gw bangga banget dengan perjuangan mereka. Karena sekarang perjuangan bangsa ada di tangan kita. Dulu gw pikir kalo kata-kata "Nasib bangsa ini berada di tanganmu pemuda" dulunya gw kira cuma kiasan belaka, atau khusus orang yang berkecimpung di dunia politik. Tapi ternyata sekarang gw rasain sendiri sejak gw masih kuliah. Gw ngerasa kalau ternyata sekecil apapun peran gw dalam hidup tuh secara sengaja nggak sengaja juga berdampak. Gw ngajar, tujuannya mencerdaskan bangsa. Gw nulis, tujuannya buat kampanye di beberapa aspek seperti pendidikan, budaya dan karakter bangsa ini. Sebisa mungkin tiap ada kesempatan, gw pasti koar-koar soal unity in diversity seperti misi yang diemban dalam Bhineka Tunggal Ika.

Indonesia dari ujung ke ujung itu beda bro and that deserve to be respected
the coffee library - Malang, tempatnya instagramable banget fyi

Karena bangsa ini sedang kritis. You know kan kalau bangsa ini sungguh diciptakan se-diverse mungkin dan ada beberapa kalangan yang "memaksa" untuk mengganti Pancasila dengan satu paham yang mereka pahami benar. Manusia-manusia penghuni Indonesia ini unik, nggak bisa disamaratakan dengan satu sistem. Jadilah itu kenapa Pancasila adalah sistem yang paling yahud yang bisa mengakomodir kebutuhan bangsa ini. Jikalau suatu hari nanti ada yang berani teriak untuk ganti sistem Pancasila dengan yang lainnya, gw bakal jadi orang pertama yang protes! Abis protes kalo masih tetep aja, gw minggat 😂 dasar gak bertanggungjawab wkwkwk

Bener juga kata-kata dulu yang sering didengar, "Perjuanganmu mempertahankan bangsa akan lebih sulit dari perjuanganku karena yang kamu lawan adalah saudara setanah airmu sendiri". Jadi gw berharap banget di tahun ke-73 ini, semoga manusia-manusia bangsa ini semakin dewasa dan mampu berpikir serta bertindak demi kepentingan bersama. Bukan hanya demi kepentingan pribadi dan golongan. Boy, I thought those words were only words, but it sucks when you have to say that everytime to remind people to do things that won't harm others.

Meskipun gw sering tengkar ga jelas sama suami gw soal bangganya gw bisa merdeka dari negaranya dia, gw tetep yakin kalau semua itu soal berproses. Gw yakin Indonesia punya timeline nya sendiri untuk jadi lebih "merdeka". Gw juga yakin suatu hari nanti, Indonesia bakal jadi singa si raja hutan. Gw juga yakin perjuangan orang-orang terdahulu nggak ada yang sia-sia. Gw juga yakin, selama kita bisa kendalikan diri sendiri, negeri ini akan maju. Gw yakin banget suatu hari nanti gw bisa liat Indonesia yang dibanggakan oleh semua orang. Maju bangsanya, bermoral manusianya.

Karena gw yakin, proses itu tak kalah penting dari sebuah hasil 💕

PS : You should watch The Handmaid's Tale if you support Pancasila to be changed. Watch that series and think if you still want to be in that system. Well, I believe the commanders would love that because that's their main purpose. But for you who just tail those "commanders" without even understand the purpose, watch that series!

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Perihal Perpanjang Paspor Biasa ke EPaspor

 

Ubud

Masa aktif paspor lama gw bakal abis bulan Februari tahun depan. Secara otomatis perpanjangnya harus 6 bulan sebelumnya yaitu bulan Agustus ini. Akhirnya setelah cek antrian online, dapet tanggal 3 Agustus.

Kenapa perpanjang ke epaspor? Ya karena udah jamannya aja kan. Orang ketemu temen Singapore aja diece-ece gara-gara paspor gw masih yang biasa. Dibilangnya "Lu idup taun brapa sih? paspor aja masih yang biasa!" Hemm kampret!

Gw agak ragu soal perpanjangan paspor ini. Kalau perpanjangan kan cuma bawa paspor lama sama eKTP aja. Tapi ragunya itu hanya berlaku antar paspor biasa atau antar epaspor atau gimana? Karena gw perpanjang dari paspor biasa ke epaspor. Kabarnya kalau dari paspor biasa itu mau ke epaspor harus proses bikin lagi dari awal. Karena kegalauan itu, akhirnya gw bawa semua data fotokopi dan asli buat paspor baru, dengan harapan sih ga bakal ngulang proses. Sampai lupa naro akta lahir dimana dan inget kalo ijazah bisa dipake juga, yaudah lah pasrah aja kali ya.

Appointment gw jam 10 pagi tapi jam 9 udah dilokasi, udah touch up, udah siap-siap trus tanya ke loket. Btw gw gojek ke Kantor Imigrasi Kelas 1 Surabaya yang di Waru ya, tapi sama abang gojek dibawa ke kantor BMKG. Dikira mau cek cuaca kali yaa 😂 Oiya kan sekarang antrian online udah bisa dipakai ya, jadi mending kalo mau bikin paspor buat aja antrian online daripada dateng langsung ntar malah kehabisan kuota (kuota harian online langsung cuma 150 aja). Jadi biar lebih santai aja, dulu gw bikin paspor pertama ini antri dari jam 6 pagi yang bikin senewen wkwkw.

Nah sampai di loket kita minta formulir, bilang kalau mau perpanjang paspor biasa ke epaspor. Nanti dicek sama petugasnya soal tanggal kadaluarsa paspornya. Kalau sudah masuk 6 bulan sebelum expired udah dibolehin ganti. Kalau nggak ya beda cerita. Ternyata, meskipun dari paspor biasa perpanjang ke epaspor syaratnya cuma bawa paspor asli dan eKTP (serta fotokopinya). Slamet! Jadi perpanjangan paspor ini sama aja ya, mau yang biasa ke biasa maupun biasa ke epaspor.

Tapi kalau soal paspor biasa ke epaspor sebelum masa berlaku habis, itu katanya sih disebut bikin ulang which is maksudnya harus apply data dari awal. Bukan perpanjangan kasusnya. Tapi bikin baru. Soale kan banyak juga orang yang mau ganti ePaspor gegara visa waiver ke negara ituuuu.

Nah, dengan sistem one stop service yang dimiliki KANIM saat ini, jelas sangat membantu dan mempermudah sekali. Serta cepat. 5 tahun lalu gw harus 3 kali ke KANIM sampai paspor ditangan. Tapi kemarin udah bagus banget pelayanannya. Waktu gw masuk ruangan, gw nunggu 50 antrian. Dan 50 antrian itu hanya memakan waktu sekitar 1,5 jam. Cuepettt wes tah! Oiya antrian offline dan online dibedakan kok. Soalnya kemaren pas mau pipis masih nunggu 5 orang lagi yang gw taksir kira2 nunggu 15 menit lah. Eh ternyata baru juga gw turun tangga keluar ruangan, udah tinggal satu nomer lagi. Jadi daripada nggak kusyuk pipisnya ya mending gw nunggu aja lah.

jangan salah alamat KANIM ya

Pertanyaannya standar, "mau kemana urus paspor?". Lah orang gw perpanjang kok. Tapi bapaknya belum puas sih, jadinya nanya lagi mau kemana. Gw jawab aja mau pulang kampung, bapaknya kaget dan ngecek nama suami gw jadinya 😂

Abis itu foto dan cek sidik jari. Biometriknya gitu. Dan ntah kenapa orang-orang KANIM ini ramah senyum semua. Jadi pas ambil foto sempet becanda gitu sampe fotonya berkali-kali huhuhu. Gw udah komplain juga kenapa antrian onlinenya cuma ada di sistem android karena gw bukan android user jadinya bingung cari hape buat bikin antrian ini. Bapaknya ngakak-ngakak aja sembari bilang "Iya yah mbak ya? Kenapa ya??" Yang penting udah gw komplain lah, semoga ditindak lanjuti.

Trus yang paling penting, pastiin kalau itu dibilangnya epaspor. Soalnya petugas sering salah dan dikasih paspor biasa. Kalau udah gitu, petugas yg harus ganti rugi bayarin epaspor pemohon. Jadi bener-bener harus dipastikan. Petugasnya pasti nanya, dan nanti kamu bisa cek di struk kamu. Epaspor seharga 655ribu, paspor biasa seharga 355ribu (Kayaknya). Oiya nggak usah pake calo. Rugi deh kalo pake calo, harganya juga jadi dobel dari harga asli. Seriusan ga usah pake calo.

Setelah itu tinggal bayar deh. Di Surabaya yang kantor pusat ini sih ada kantor pos mobile buat bayar paspor. Jadi nggak usah jauh-jauh nyari bank atau pos untuk bayar paspor. Bayarnya cash ya, nggak ada debit gesek-gesek. Nah yang seru nih, paspor bisa diantar pos dan kita tinggal bayar ongkirnya aja. Surabaya-Malang 29ribu sih. Lumayan daripada gw harus ke Surabaya lagi cuma buat ambil paspor sebutir ini. Tanyain aja harus gimana kalo mau paspornya diantar pos. Harus isi surat kuasa dll juga. Waktu itu gw bawa materai sendiri trus pak pos nanya beli dimana, gw jawab di fotokopian 😂 terus beliau bilang kalau sebaiknya beli materai di kantor pos soale udah 100% asli kalo di pos. Gitu katanya. Tapi surat kuasa udah terlanjur gw jilat materainya, jadi yaudah diampuni lah ya.

Nah jadi proses gw submit diri gw ke KANIM itu tanggal 3 Agustus. Tanggal 6 Agustus epaspor gw udah issued. Tanggal 9 dikirim ke BANDUNG. Iya ke BANDUNG! Paspor gw jalan-jalan dulu ke BANDUNG! Waktu pak posnya dateng tanggal 13 Agustus kerumah antar paspor, bapaknya bilang "maaf ya mbak paspornya nyasar dulu ke Bandung". Gw kira bercanda dong, ternyata beneran dibawa ke BANDUNG. Karena dibawah alamat gw ditulis Bandung. Nguaaawuurrr 😂 jadi tanggal 10 itu dia di Bandung. Harusnya tanggal 10 udah di Malang eh ke Bandung lautan api dulu. Gw aja belom pernah ke Bandung la kok paspor ku udah sampe sana.

Epaspor emang prosesnya lebih lama daripada paspor biasa. Tapi lamanya juga cuma 7 - 10 hari aja. Nggak begitu lama menurut gw sih.

 

sengaja di tindih itunya,
personally gw lebih suka paspor lama gw, lebih adem asik elegan. tapi ya seelegan apa juga wong paspornya juga belom sekuat paspor Singapore lol

Jadi proses bikin paspor ini bener-bener gw acungi 2 jempol deh. Dibanding 5 taun lalu, prosesnya udah bener-bener efisien dan yahud deh. Udah nggak usah antri galo tanpa kepastian dapet formulir, nunggu ga sampe dua jam, proses verifikasi datanya cuma 15 menit (tergantung pake acara guyon sama petugas ato nggak karena samping gw udah 2 orang sedangkan gw ga kelar-kelar ngobrol sama petugasnya), bisa dikirim pos (mungkin 5 taun lalu juga udah bisa ya) yang reliable banget (sempet was was kalo paspor ga sampe gw gimana wkwkw tapi gw tau pos Indonesia jauh lebih ok daripada pos NL. Serius!). Prosesnya hemat waktu banget. Buat pekerja cukup ijin ga masuk sehari aja. Cuman sayangnya, gw masih berharap masa aktif paspor jadi 10 taun. Lagi digodok kabarnya. Semoga cepet deal deh! Dan gw hepi 😎

Udah siap jalan lagi 😅😂😁👫

Note : Kalo punya ePaspor harus lebih hati-hati ya. No more kesak-kesak paspor, nggak boleh ditekuk-tekuk, jangan sampe rusak lah chip nya. Untuk daerah Jatim, ePaspor sementara hanya tersedia di Kantor Imigrasi kelas I Khusus Surabaya di Jalan Raya by pass Juanda KM 3-4. Bukan di kantor BMKG ya 😂

Update : Kemarin teman coba extend paspor biasa ke epaspor dg masa expire 8 bulan sebelumnya, ternyata bisa dan syaratnya hanya paspor lama, eKTP dan KK (untuk konfirmasi sesuatu karena dia bilang alasannya untuk menikah dengan WNA pas masa paspornya abis). Jadi memang sepertinya sangat mudah. Tapi bisa juga ditanyakan saja ke KANIM biar jelas (karena nda ada aturan jelas yang tertulis begitu).

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Dealing With Mental Retardation Student (2)

 

It's the third week of my class with this special student. Basically the third meeting with him. My first impression is written here if you haven't read it yet. I am trying to keep update about teaching him here because he is so special for me. Definitely, he is.

So when we had our second meeting, I hoped that he got something surprising for me. And he had one. At the first meeting, he couldn't even differentiate between negative and positive integers, that positive integers always bigger than the negative ones. I had to tell him like 10 times (it's not exaggerating) But at the second meeting, he could! Can you imagine how happy I am?

But he can't understand the comparison between negative integers like negative 3 is bigger than negative 5 because he still thinks that 3 is smaller than 5 in any conditions including negative integers. That is okay, he showed me the progress of being able to say that negative integers are always smaller than positive ones.

I can see that he work so hard for that. So at that moment, I realize that I have to say things that he can and have to memorize because I can't ask him to analyze things logically. It's hard. So I keep trying to say so many things to make him memorize that, with a hope that it will work.

On the other hand, he couldn't do any addition and reduction using negative integers too much. He could, but only if the number is small. I struggled to say and explain that. But he finally get used to count it with a help of a tool.

Today, the third meeting, I asked him what did he learnt yesterday. I always do that, even though many times he said he learnt natural science (natural science is the class a day before maths) but I always do that. I want to know what he thinks about other subjects and I asked what he learnt in languages classes as well. I can see his enthusiasm in those and asked which part that enthusiast him so much. What surprised me today that he said he studied maths last night. WOW. I was happy to hear that. And when I asked him to answer all of the questions about previous things, he did it very well and all answers are correct. He was able to do the reduction and addition using negative integers with no mistakes. I said "Wow, you did a very good job today. Your answers are all correct!" then he said "YESSSSS!!!". His YESS somehow made me flattered that show me how happy he was when I gave him a compliment of his hard work. And hey he can finally say that negative 3 is bigger than negative 5. It's a big progress!

 

It may sound usual and nothing. Yes, it is, for students with IQ above 90. But he is not. That is why it is special and struggle in telling him things.

He likes to tell the story and I  like to ask him everything like what colour he likes, what movie he likes, how many friends he has, what kind of sports he likes to play, and it is cool to know that he likes to see old buildings but without any ghost 😂. It was fascinating when he asked me "Is Niagara hotel haunted?" 😂 It is recommended to give a break in the middle of class, and my break usually showing him about old buildings. Trust me I have a lot (well some of them are H's pictures of course lol). Beside, I can tell him the little history of that. I showed him Hotel Majapahit and Ayasofya today.

So what I learnt about how to teach a student like him, do tell them about things that they could memorize because they work better at memorizing things. It always a struggle when you usually don't need to tell them to do something but trust me, when they could memorize things, your jobs will be easier later. How much you could tell them to do things? As much as you need to tell them to write down the answer in their books.

Ini beneran, ketika dia mengerjakan sesuatu dan diajak bicara, dia akan stop melakukan sesuatu dan mendengarkan. Tapi ketika kita lupa beri tahu kalau dia harus mengerjakan lagi tugas yang aku beri tadi, ya dia nggak akan mengerjakan lagi. So you really have to tell them what to do consecutively.

Another surprise he asked today is "What is haram?" Boy this is a mathematics class, not agama class 😂 But I did give him answers 😎

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Body Shaming?

 

Born as Indonesian makes you having a naturally tanned skin, right? Maybe a long time ago you weren't happy about being born with a tanned skin, or maybe you still don't?

A long time ago, I don't like my skin colour. A lot of my friends having their bright white skin colour, supported by whitening advertisements, this made me feel ugly. Even though some people said that beautiful isn't caused by your skin colour but your characters and attitude (and some more cliche things that can't be seen).

Really? But apparently, whitening cream doesn't work for me, at all. It never works. Just never works. So I start to feel that why don't I embrace my natural skin colour? I don't really hate it but people kept saying that 'Hmmm you are a girl, your skin should be bright and white so that boys will consider you as a beautiful girl'. When I think about that, make me laugh now. How crazy that thought was.

Slowly but sure, am happy with my skin colour. It makes me feel happy and exotic in a way. This skin colour sometimes causes me a problem by not being able to wear too bright dress colour, but that's not the matter anymore. I just love it more and more. As long as I have healthy skin then it's fine whatever the colour is.

 

good hair day plus prefect light = why not? 😉

It looks healthier and not pale. But, is everybody thinks like that? NOPE!

Few times ago, Nana Mirdad who are married to Andrew White (Mixed race guy who has white skin colour) shared a screenshot of how lucky she is having a white man because she is only a girl with brown skin. MAN!!!! This is ridiculous how 2018 there are people thinks like that.

And that happens to me. I am married to a white guy and some people told me how lucky I am to get married to a white skin guy just because I am a girl with brown skin 😂😂😂😂. It always make me laugh whenever I heard that. Of course, I am lucky because my guy doesn't think that white skin girl is more beautiful than brown skin girl. Doesn't like most of the local guys who think that white skin is the most beautiful ones. Not all of them ya, but most of them 🙈.

Have you heard anyone told you 'duh you are so dark now, what did you do? you should take care of your skin, don't make it too dark otherwise no guy will look at you', have you? or something like 'duh look how dark you are now! you have to use this whitening cream, it works for me!', have you?

I don't blame people who prefer white skin than tanned ones, what I dislike is when they said that white skin girls (or maybe guys also) are the most beautiful ones and insult the brown (or black) skin people. People have different preference, but this is doesn't make sense really. Of course, I don't care about what they said, but some people get offended easily by hearing smth like that. Who knows someone might feels pressure in having dark skin because her husband or family (maybe) doesn't like it. And by you saying something like that, like pouring salt in a wound ckckkck.

I don't hate white-skin-people. The positive side of having tanned skin is not easily getting sunburn like my husband always has 😎. But I hate people who think that they are the most beautiful ones just because they have white skin. Huh Kampungan!

Another body-shaming usually happen to pregnant women or new mothers. Where they just recover from bearing a new life with so many uncomfortable feeling here and there, getting so sensitive and swollen here and there, risking their lives to bring a new life, and then you with your poison mouth says something like 'OMG How fat you are now?? Look at you! why you are still fat after delivering your baby? You are getting that fat but your baby is that small?? How come? Look at me, I am back to my original size after delivering my baby. I don't even swollen too much like you do' F*ck you! I haven't experience pregnancy yet but those poison comments are ridiculous. Most of all, it is coming from women who experienced pregnancy before. Technically, they knew how it feels.

I don't see people from their bodies. Not important. And I have no benefit by doing that body shaming to others. What's the point? Like Javanese would say "perawakane bedo-bedo". Someone can't gain any weight even though she eats so much, and somebody else gains too easily by eating a spoon of ice cream.

Emang kita sesempurna apa sampai bisa mencacat tubuh orang lain? Are you still body shaming other people?

PS : Pregnant women are always beautiful for me no matter how their body shapes are

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Nggak Bisa Bahasa Inggris?

Bosen kali ya gw sering nulis soal beginian. Tapi kali ini (lagi-lagi) gw  liat sendiri kalo ternyata  minat generasi muda menguasai Bahasa Inggris masih jauh dari harapan. Jujur gw mulai demen Bahasa Inggris sejak SMP. SD gw ga bisa sama sekali, tapi masuk SMP semacem gw dapet ilham gitu. Belajarnya lebih gampang dan lebih nyantol aja. Karena gw juga mikir, banyak keluarga gw yang bisa Bahasa Inggris dan sebagian tinggal di Belanda sana, masa iya ntar kalo ketemu nggak bisa ngobrol kan nggak asik.

Tantangannya simple ketika kita bisa ngobrol (atau berusaha) ngobrol Bahasa Inggris, mereka yang nggak bisa dan nggak mau bicara Bahasa Inggris bakal nyinyir dan bilang kalau kamu nggak nasionalis karena nggak pakai Bahasa Indonesia. Atau kalau nggak gitu, emang Bahasa Indonesia kamu udah bagus sampai kamu belajar bahasa asing?? Screw em.

Gw sendiri levelnya masih level intermediate (6 dari 16, based on EF placement test) tapi gw masih dan tetep belajar karena target gw bisa nembus media internasional buat tulisan gw. Mana bisa nembus kan kalau levelnya masih ecek-ecek begini.

 

setengahnya ada di pos pos games. Ini duduknya nyebar nyari tempat adem 😂  

Jadi minggu-minggu kemaren gw diminta tolong sama guru favorit gw di SMA buat cariin mahasiswa asing di Malang yang bisa bantu-bantu acara outbound mereka. Gw kirain sih bakal buat beberapa bulan kedepan karena pasti gw daripada bingung nyari ya suami gw aja lah yang diminta tolong kan. Ternyata buat dua hari kedepannya. Ya bingung lah, kok semepet itu. Ternyata mereka udah deal bisa dateng tapi ternyata ada deal yang lebih menggiurkan yaitu liburan gratis ke Banyuwangi (atau Bali?). Jelas mereka batalin aja acara outbound di Kebun Raya Purwodadi ini. Nggak sopan banget kan. Kek nggak punya sopan santun aja. Gw nanya temen gw yang dulunya sering handle mahasiswa asing di kampusnya juga bilang udah nggak ada mahasiswa asing tersisa di Malang karena ini lagi liburan.

Yaudah, ternyata Bu Din malah minta gw sama temen gw dari SMP bantu-bantu. Ini semacem motivasi mereka biar mau belajar bahasa Inggris gitu. But does it work? Nggak juga. Pas gw nanya ada yang suka bahasa Inggris apa nggak, nggak ada yang jawab tuh. Semacem kek Bahasa Inggris itu momok bagi mereka. Hantu serem yang penting lulus ujian aja. Padahal jaman segini nggak bisa Bahasa Inggris? Men! nggak jaman.

 

ini nih guru SMA favorit gw, bareng temen gw dari SMP

Gw suka heran aja kenapa masih banyak anak muda yang enggan bicara Bahasa Inggris...??? Padahal kan gampangnya begini ya, kalau kamu pinter akademismu dan ingin meneruskan sekolah di luar negeri, ambil aja lah kelas internasional jadi kamu nggak perlu belajar bahasa negara tersebut (misal Jerman atau Belanda) untuk mengembangkan ilmu kamu, nggak usah lah jauh-jauh balik ke Indonesia buat memajukan bangsa, seegoisnya kamu kan hasil tersebut bakal balik lagi ke kamu. Ya nggak? Gw ada temen yang lumayan pinter eh ternyata takut ambil studi doktoratnya di luar negeri karena nggak bisa bahasa inggris. Sayang dong. Kamu cuma bakal nggelutek di tempurung kamu sendiri.

Sekarang gini deh, ambil dari sisi yang paling gampang. Misal kamu tiba-tiba ketemu bule dijalan yang nyasar, kamu maunya bantu tapi terkendala bahasa. Ya emang sih banyak applikasi bantuan bicara bahasa, tapi misal ini dalam kondisi super nggak memungkinkan. Itu bule nyasar dan ini soal hidup dan matinya, lu bisa sebenernya bantu dia tapi lu nggak bisa jelasin. Nyesel nggak lu ntar? Kalo gw sih nyesel. Padahal kita bisa berpeluang bantu mereka tapi karena nggak bisa ngobrol, ehh nggak jadi bantu.

 

yang satunya Bu Rahayu tapi kita nggak pernah diajar beliau. hobinya traveling juga 😍😎 

Diakui atau nggak, mampu berbahasa Inggris adalah standar minimal buat kamu bisa kerja enak. Ya kalau sasaran kamu kantor-kantor biasa yang nggak perlu mampu berbahasa Inggris ya tbh kamu nggak akan berkembang. Waktu kerja di Surabaya, di kantor HM. Sampoerna, gw bener-bener belajar banyak banget. Meskipun untuk produksi lokal, mereka acuannya aturan global yang pasti berbahasa Inggris. Mau nggak mau rekan kerja gw yang handle lokal juga akhirnya belajar bahasa Inggris. Sedangkan gw waktu itu handle affiliates Asia Pasific yang nggak pernah nggak pakai Bahasa Inggris sebagai bahasa utama. Kalau di kantornya sih masih banyak yang ngomong bahasa Jawa, tapi begitu meeting, nggak pernah sekalipun pakai bahasa Indonesia. Karena ada beberapa delegasi dari luar dan lagi kita lebih terbiasa ngomong bahasa Inggris daripada Indonesia untuk urusan kerja. Bayangin meeting penting dan kamu nggak bisa bahasa Inggris?

Waktu gw handle Singapura, India, Thailand, Hongkong, Bangladesh, tantangannya mereka pakai Bahasa Inggris yang sesuai logat dan aksen mereka. Kadang kita harus tebak-tebak ini itu. Jadi akhirnya juga bikin curi-curi kesempatan belajar bahasa mereka yang biasa mereka pakai, yang dasar aja deh misal apa gimana kenapa. Karena serius, ngobrol kerja internasional tapi nggak bisa bahasa Inggris bisa bikin salah kerja. Kerjaan jadi amburadul dan nggak beres-beres. Pernah dapet kasus yang keliru persepsi gara-gara dia salah pakai kata-kata dalam Bahasa Inggris. Itu bisa fatal banget.

Jadi gw gatau ya kenapa kalian nggak suka ngomong bahasa Inggris. Mungkin kalian nggak mau berkembang? Nggak mau mengenal budaya dan attitude orang luar Indonesia? Nggak mau tau urusan luar? Malu karena bikin kesalahan dalam prakteknya? atau malu di cap nggak nasionalis?? Percaya deh sama gw, bisa bahasa asing bukan berarti lu nggak nasionalis. Jangan ada di tempurung terus menerus. Negeri ini butuh orang berani. Salah satu cara ya kamu berani 'menjual' negeri mu demi kemajuan negeri ini. Lah kalo kamu nggak berani bicara, gimana orang lain bakal mengenal kamu? Misal kamu ternyata punya terobosan penting untuk kemajuan dunia atau handle plastic waste yang udah mengerikan gini, tapi kamu nggak berani jual dan promosiin karya kamu ke negara lain.... ya udah terobosan itu bakal jadi another waste yang nggak bernilai apa-apa.

 

udahlah yang penting brani ngomong dulu, salah bener urusan belakangan yang penting berani ngomong dulu. ntar lama-lama jg kamu paham salahnya dimana dan bakal perbaiki itu 😁

Bukan gw ngajari buat nggak cinta negeri ini, justru dengan begitu kalian bisa menunjukkan secinta apa kamu terhadap negeri ini. Masa sih semua orang tau Amerika itu dimana, Belanda itu gimana, atau Australia itu kek gimana, tapi masih banyak orang yang bilang 'Indonesia? gw nggak tau Indonesia, gw taunya Bali'. Men! Itu udik banget.

Jadi gw bener-bener berharap banget sama kalian yang baca ini, tanpa mengurangi rasa hormat gw ke kalian yang begitu cinta tanah air, plis jangan nyinyirin orang yang sedang berjuang untuk belajar bahasa Inggris. Jangan dikit-dikit bilang nggak nasionalis, atau bahasa Indonesia lu udah bagus apa belom (FYI, orang Inggris pun bahasa Inggrisnya juga nggak bagus-bagus amat. Lebih bagus orang yang belajar Bahasa Inggris karena lebih paham gramatika bahasa). Jujur aja, bahasa Indonesia suami gw di poin-poin tertentu jauh lebih bagus dan lebih menjiwai daripada Bahasa Indonesia gw karena gw native speaker sedangkan suami gw belajar bahasa Indonesia dengan baik dan benar (meskipun bahasa dia masih crappy lol). Di poin tertentu juga, waktu gw nanya Bahasa Belanda ke suami gw, dia bingung ga bisa jawab karena dia native speaker yang terbiasa menggunakan bahasanya tanpa tau grammarnya sebenernya gimana.

Percayalah, practice makes perfect. Yang penting kalian sadar dulu betapa pentingnya bisa ngomong bahasa internasional dan itu tidak mengurangi nasionalisme yang kalian miliki. Kecuali kalau kalian emang nggak nasionalis, ya beda cerita 😂 Tapi tolonglah berusahalah juga. Generasi milenial harus menerima tantangan ini dong!!!

PS: Special thanks to Bu Din and Sunan for this event. Eventhough I didn't help much but sharing with you is always great and I am glad we're (always) in the same page lol! And Bu Rahayu who picked me up 😊
PS Lagi : Sebenernya kita nggak bener-bener bantu banget sih, cuma have fun aja disana 😄

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Dealing With Mental Retardation Student

 

I am back. Teaching mathematics classes and handling home-schooling students. And one of my students is having a mental retardation. His IQ is only 64. For standard normal IQ will be at range 90-120.

I was warned by the owner not to teach things too fast. Because he will not be able to follow what you say. Just do it slowly and get his attention first. To be honest I was nervous because this will be my first time having this kind of student. It will be a big challenge for me. I didn't even know how to start the class or what should I prepare.

But, I consider myself as a lucky one because he is so sweet, friendly and showed me enthusiasm even though when I asked what did he remember about previous mathematics he only remembers KPK, FPB, multiplication table, and a few of math formulas.

It's for the 7th grade student, I had to teach him integers (negative and positive). It's definitely his first time learning about negative integers. A challenge came when I tried to tell him those negative integers always smaller than the positive ones. The problem came because he can't imagine anything. It should be a real thing in front of his eyes. Don't ask him to imagine "let's imagine that you have money this much and then you have debt this much", no that wouldn't be a good way to teach him. I found it difficult to hold myself not to ask him to imagine things.

So what I did today, it was only making him understand those negative integers always smaller than positive integers. How? I made the number line and put zero in the middle. When I did that and asked him to write the rest of the number in left-right sides, he did it very well. He remembered those negative integers always in the left side, while the positive is in the right side.

But when you asked different things like what are the numbers between -5 and 4 or about temperature, he couldn't do that yet. Funny thing was when I asked him about the temperature. I told him if the temperature close to 0 or below 0 that means getting colder. I showed him the picture of two thermometers with red and blue color and asked him which color he like more. He said blue. So I asked him to look at it. It showed -20 celcius while the red one was 40 celcius. I told him the blue one is the cold one and the red one is in Jakarta, hot. He said 'Ohh so that means if red is hot. Yea Jakarta is hot'. Well, yea so far so good.

I took my phone and showed him the weather app, I always have Pandaan, Malang, Kandahar and Delden daily temperature. I asked him if he knew what is Kandahar or Kabul, he said he didn't know it. Then I put Amsterdam there and he shouted like "OH I KNOW Amsterdam!! It's the capital city of Nederland right??" OMG it wasn't him who was so happy but me lol. Because he showed me how enthusiast he was and tried to learn harder even though I know math is not really his favorite.

And you know when you already got his enthusiasm, the learning process will be a little bit easier (on his condition). So he played on my phone (which I never let anyone did that), he tried to compare the temperature for the cities I set there. But funny thing was, my class was around 9-11 and Amsterdam was only 2 or 3 in the morning that made the app showed you a dark interface. So he focused on "Oh now it's dark in Amsterdam? Will it be rain there today? Is it cold now?" (dalem hati 'lu kira gw dukun nak?') That is why I asked you to look at the temperature kid, so you will know if Amsterdam is cold enough or not. I showed him some temperature that my father in law always sent me to show me the weather and he got so enthusiast and even want to see old buildings but not the haunted one lol.

We were a little bit random. I tried to follow what he wanted and he did to get his attention and enthusiasm for learning. His watch was ringing at 10.30 sharp and told me "Oh time is up!" lol.

I like to teach him. He really gave me a new thing to learn. He will definitely make me super patient lol! His enthusiasm and not easily giving up is really something.

So if you happen to teach this kind of student, make sure you have a bunch of patience and don't try to push the student too hard. Attract what they really like and show him that he is doing good in class. An important point you should remember, this kind of students could never imagine things so you have to present a real thing instead.

I will keep update about this student because he is a special student of mine 😊😊

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