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If Money Wasn't The Problem, What Would You Do?

In this extraordinary life, I would be a teacher still.  Helping people to understand even some little things to make them feel worthy and understand themselves better. It seems that teaching has become a calling for me. Not about teaching such specific subject like mathematics or so, but more like... I like to give new perspectives for people, and having them saying "Oh.... I see..." is satisfying for me. Of course, by teaching I can learn so many new perspectives from different people too. It's like the more I teach the more I learn, and that is so true. Maybe more like a guide. I like giving guidance to people who needs it. No, I don't like giving unsolicited guiding. I like to guide people who wants to be guided. I'd teach them how to love, love themselves first. Yea sure when we are talking about things, they would say "do useful things like engineering, plumbing, this and that" but they tend to forget that we need some balance in life. Not saying t

Ten Years Without You

10 years already. 10 years you left us here. I was 15 when you left me with that big regret in my life. I wasn't mature enough but enough to make me think differently. If only I never had this regret, I may be still someone who like to ignore something.

It is true, about what people (and maybe God) says, 'there is a good thing behind a bad thing'. Indeed. And I decided to forgive myself, after years.

How it will be if you still here? What will you tell me if you know that I finally choose him to be with me, for the rest of my life? How you will be? Will you still as strong as 10 or 20 years ago? And how you will treat my kids later? Will you love them and protect them as much as you did for me?






I was so afraid when I got a call from mama, told me that the other grandma is dying. That day I flew to Lombok. I was really afraid that another regret I might have again. But thank God, she was fine.

We are growing older and older. I am not that old yet, but I can see the wrinkles on grandma, mama, and papa face more than 10 years ago.

But, if you are here now, I want to tell you that we are fine. Even Onyo (my lovely uncle) come here much more than before. He treats her mum well and nice. We spent new year's eve together here. Eat sate and fish, and any other dishes. Although the spicy delicious sambal that emak made, make me and aunty got stomachache. But the rest are totally fine.

And I am counting down the day that I will be with him, in future.

I always miss you and miss you more and more. You are not around but we always love you, grandpa.



Jan 6th 2007 ~ Jan 6th 2017

Comments

  1. It's terrible to hear about your loss and I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete

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