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Romanticizing My Cooking

Bakso I have to admit that my love for cooking is growing. It's growing and I can't believe it myself. This feeling has been like this since probably two years ago. Before, cooking felt like a hard work that I had to fulfill. It still is, but the difference is I enjoy it now. So it does not feel like I am forcing myself.  Back then whenever I cooked, it's either wrong recipe or incorrect measurement. It never tasted right. So I gave up cooking just because I never found the right one. And then I started to feel that I wanna eat better. I don't want to just eat whatever, I want to know what goes into my body. If I prepare it myself, then I know it's good one.  I don't eat too much sugar, sometimes it is hard to buy one thing outside and has a lot of sugar in it. So cooking it myself will allow me to control the amount of sugar. So I found recipes and I tried to make them. As to my surprise, they taste right! Exactly how they should have tasted. That made me happy

Ten Years Without You

10 years already. 10 years you left us here. I was 15 when you left me with that big regret in my life. I wasn't mature enough but enough to make me think differently. If only I never had this regret, I may be still someone who like to ignore something.

It is true, about what people (and maybe God) says, 'there is a good thing behind a bad thing'. Indeed. And I decided to forgive myself, after years.

How it will be if you still here? What will you tell me if you know that I finally choose him to be with me, for the rest of my life? How you will be? Will you still as strong as 10 or 20 years ago? And how you will treat my kids later? Will you love them and protect them as much as you did for me?






I was so afraid when I got a call from mama, told me that the other grandma is dying. That day I flew to Lombok. I was really afraid that another regret I might have again. But thank God, she was fine.

We are growing older and older. I am not that old yet, but I can see the wrinkles on grandma, mama, and papa face more than 10 years ago.

But, if you are here now, I want to tell you that we are fine. Even Onyo (my lovely uncle) come here much more than before. He treats her mum well and nice. We spent new year's eve together here. Eat sate and fish, and any other dishes. Although the spicy delicious sambal that emak made, make me and aunty got stomachache. But the rest are totally fine.

And I am counting down the day that I will be with him, in future.

I always miss you and miss you more and more. You are not around but we always love you, grandpa.



Jan 6th 2007 ~ Jan 6th 2017

Comments

  1. It's terrible to hear about your loss and I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete

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Romanticizing My Cooking

Bakso I have to admit that my love for cooking is growing. It's growing and I can't believe it myself. This feeling has been like this since probably two years ago. Before, cooking felt like a hard work that I had to fulfill. It still is, but the difference is I enjoy it now. So it does not feel like I am forcing myself.  Back then whenever I cooked, it's either wrong recipe or incorrect measurement. It never tasted right. So I gave up cooking just because I never found the right one. And then I started to feel that I wanna eat better. I don't want to just eat whatever, I want to know what goes into my body. If I prepare it myself, then I know it's good one.  I don't eat too much sugar, sometimes it is hard to buy one thing outside and has a lot of sugar in it. So cooking it myself will allow me to control the amount of sugar. So I found recipes and I tried to make them. As to my surprise, they taste right! Exactly how they should have tasted. That made me happy

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