Taken at 3am-ish Tahun ini adalah tahun ke-4 gw nyepi di Bali. Ketagihan banyak Nyepi di Bali. Tahun ini juga semua serangkaian Nyepi terasa kembali normal. Normal dalam artian, kegiatan yang berhubungan dengan Nyepi sudah mulai dilaksanakan secara utuh. Karena 2-3 tahun sebelumnya masih nggak 100%, kali ini jauh lebih meriah. Upacara dimana-mana. Jalanan ditutup, diputar, dimana-mana. Melasti yang bisa aja kalau kalian nggak tau ya "kejebak" macet. Gw nggak suka keramaian, tapi prosesi-prosesi kejutan yang gw nggak sengaja liat di jalanan tuh menyenangkan sekali. Riuhnya kerasa buat gw. Big offerings 2-3 tahun lalu, seingat gw ATM tuh tutupnya H-1 Nyepi tapi jam-jam sore. Tahun ini jam 10 pagi ATM udah mati semua. Tahun ini juga gw tiba-tiba perlu urus visa yang mepet Nyepi, dengan janji temu hari kamis. Hari kamis ini masih ngembak geni, kegiatan belum ada yang 100%. Kalaupun ada pasti bukanya di atas jam 10 atau jam 1 siang. Gw perlu print beberapa dokumen terakhir yang
10 years already. 10 years you left us here. I was 15 when you left me with that big regret in my life. I wasn't mature enough but enough to make me think differently. If only I never had this regret, I may be still someone who like to ignore something.
It is true, about what people (and maybe God) says, 'there is a good thing behind a bad thing'. Indeed. And I decided to forgive myself, after years.
How it will be if you still here? What will you tell me if you know that I finally choose him to be with me, for the rest of my life? How you will be? Will you still as strong as 10 or 20 years ago? And how you will treat my kids later? Will you love them and protect them as much as you did for me?
I was so afraid when I got a call from mama, told me that the other grandma is dying. That day I flew to Lombok. I was really afraid that another regret I might have again. But thank God, she was fine.
We are growing older and older. I am not that old yet, but I can see the wrinkles on grandma, mama, and papa face more than 10 years ago.
But, if you are here now, I want to tell you that we are fine. Even Onyo (my lovely uncle) come here much more than before. He treats her mum well and nice. We spent new year's eve together here. Eat sate and fish, and any other dishes. Although the spicy delicious sambal that emak made, make me and aunty got stomachache. But the rest are totally fine.
And I am counting down the day that I will be with him, in future.
I always miss you and miss you more and more. You are not around but we always love you, grandpa.
Jan 6th 2007 ~ Jan 6th 2017
It is true, about what people (and maybe God) says, 'there is a good thing behind a bad thing'. Indeed. And I decided to forgive myself, after years.
How it will be if you still here? What will you tell me if you know that I finally choose him to be with me, for the rest of my life? How you will be? Will you still as strong as 10 or 20 years ago? And how you will treat my kids later? Will you love them and protect them as much as you did for me?
I was so afraid when I got a call from mama, told me that the other grandma is dying. That day I flew to Lombok. I was really afraid that another regret I might have again. But thank God, she was fine.
We are growing older and older. I am not that old yet, but I can see the wrinkles on grandma, mama, and papa face more than 10 years ago.
But, if you are here now, I want to tell you that we are fine. Even Onyo (my lovely uncle) come here much more than before. He treats her mum well and nice. We spent new year's eve together here. Eat sate and fish, and any other dishes. Although the spicy delicious sambal that emak made, make me and aunty got stomachache. But the rest are totally fine.
And I am counting down the day that I will be with him, in future.
I always miss you and miss you more and more. You are not around but we always love you, grandpa.
Jan 6th 2007 ~ Jan 6th 2017
It's terrible to hear about your loss and I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you mas 😊
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