Nope! I am not pregnant yet. I just want to talk about pregnancy where people here will consider normal if you get it as soon as possible (or not delaying). Well... I guess I become more flexible nowadays for reasons.
We talked in a group and a friend asked about another friend's pregnancy to another friend. Do you get what I mean? Let say friend A ask friend B about friend C whether she is pregnant yet. Instead of asking directly to friend C, friend A chose to ask friend B. I ask why... friend A said that she is afraid that it is not appropriate to ask her directly because she is afraid that friend C might get offended or mad of that pregnancy question (which is like an obligatory question to newlywed). Friend C is married for almost 5 years I believe, so far I know she has no baby yet. Friend A said that she got really offended when people ask her about pregnancy in her first month of marriage. I simply said 'If you get offended then don't try to offend your friend with that question'.
Then I told her that question is not supposed to be asked. Some people think it is for fun only but for some people to be asked about pregnancy is annoying. I may sound not so Indonesia, but I do agree that asking about pregnancy is super annoying. Even so many people here got offended by getting asked about pregnancy, but when they experience a pregnancy they will annoy other people by asking that question. Lingkaran setan!
One question could different answers and reasons.
In the first month of marriage (or even less), people start to ask 'Sudah isi?' or in English 'Are you pregnant yet?'. Newlywed have a bunch of reasons for one same question. If they say 'yes I am now', people will think that you are so fertile and smart to make a baby. Contradictory, they probably think if couples have no baby in a long time, it would be two reasons, not fertile and not that smart. Oh hey but if you are too quick to get pregnant, they will think that you did it before marriage and of course people will talking bad behind you. Tewur.
But, do you realize that there might be some other reasons too? Let say friend D and E, friend D getting pregnant straightly two months after getting married while friend E still waiting. Friend D try to giving a lecture about how to get pregnant or how it is not wise to refuse the pregnancy blablablaaaa. But Friend D never know that friend E has tumour and in the middle of medication to get pregnant. Can you imagine how hurt her heart was?
Another case is having no chances yet, although they work hard for it. Some friends also want to delay their pregnancy for some reasons. Another friend really wants to get pregnant but the opportunity isn't coming yet. I am afraid she is depressed and stress that might be the main reason for not getting pregnant until today. I told her not to think about it too much, relax and take it easy. If you are not pregnant yet then it will be your chances to bond with your spouse before you have another responsibility. Why take it so seriously? It will come if it meant to come.
Some other friends who are already pregnant could so suddenly give you tips about how to get pregnant although you don't ask to. This is kinda annoying lol. And It is very funny when you already have one, and people start to ask again 'when will you make another one? your first baby needs a sibling' lol.
What about me? Masih berdua dan masih menikmatinya. I still want to have my own of course, but there are plenty of internal reasons that you don't need to know right? Or you want to tell me and lecture me that baby will bring their own destiny and rejeki? Don't worry I still believe that. It just pregnancy and having a baby is our domestic case. Besides, can you order a baby to be arrived whenever you want?
An aunty asked me after I got married for 2 months, directly ask 'are you pregnant yet?'. I said not yet. Then she starts to compare me with her another niece that directly getting pregnant after married, and said how smart they are to make a baby that quick. How did I respond to that? Laughing out loud. Do I actually care about the question? Not really 😁
I actually get less question than most people, probably because they know that my answer will knock them down? 😎 People have their own opinions and reasons in their life and you don't need to ask them unless if they tell you.
I kind of having concern in why I want a baby. Too many people said that they want to have babies in order to help and take care of them when they are old. Please don't. Don't have this kind of thought. Why? It will burden your kids. The obligatory to respect parents is definitely no compromise. But don't burden them to take care of you when you're getting older. They will have their own lives, they will have their own family, they need to take care of their stuff. I do believe some of kids will be so gladly take care of their parents when they are getting old. But have this idea of "my kids have to take care of me when I am old because I take care of them when they were baby" is scary 😑
I am sure not all of you agree with this. Tapi setidaknya janganlah kalian semena-mena judge kalau anak yang berpikiran seperti itu adalah anak durhaka. Berpikir seperti itu bukan berarti menjadi durhaka. Dan mungkin sebagai orangtua juga jangan berpikir jika anak tidak mampu mengikuti mau orangtua, janganlah mengatakan mereka durhaka. Kok sadis sekali bilang begitu. Kalo som eday nanti gw punya anak, gw nggak mau repotin mereka dimasa tua gw. Semoga gw bisa mandiri di masa tua gw.
And I think I know the reason why I want to have baby 😁
Everyone is different, for me, no one can be compared. It is not fair to compare one to another because it is just different. And being successful is not about you getting married early and have a baby soon. The more you compare the more you'll be less happy.
Because the goals are different for each people 😎