In attempts to slow_myself_down_away_from_digital_life, I am getting my hands on film camera. Yes, the kind of camera where you need to put the film roll in and then start snapping. If you are lucky, the pictures will turn up good but if not then we let the fate decide. This is not my first rodeo on using film camera, but it definitely the first ever to buy the film and develop it using my own money. It is not cheap, which I know. What can I say, it's an expensive hobby. I used my first film roll to take photos of my favorite people. So it has more human than random pictures. It was on family event. After the last shot, I wanted to develop it before I flew to Bali but they had no lab. Luckily we have the lab in Bali. I developed and scanned the film in Ojisanfilmlab Bali. They're just a google away. They sell the roll as well. I had to tell the TSA to do the hand checking rather putting it through the scanner. They understood. Cimol hides himself in his favorite spot ...
I am turning 30 soon. I was excited that "Woah! My 30's gonna be something! I am excited." But I also forgot that it means we're getting older. My parents, uncles, aunties, everyone I have in my life. I still see them like a child seeing her important adults in her life. I always thought that I am 5 and they're in their 30's. Not realising that they're entering their 50's.
My uncle passed away this morning. I am feeling closer to uncles from my mom side than from my dad's. Even though we were closed when I was a kid and we became like a stranger lately, but I have my own place for him in my heart. I thought, I wouldn't cry. I was wrong. I sat down when I made breakfast this morning and I cried. It is breaking my heart. How could he left me like that? It's unfair for him.
I called my cousin after his funeral. First thing she said was “I dont have a father anymore” 😔 Breaks my heart even more.
Not only him, my aunties and uncle from my father side too. They're leaving one by one. They were my closest people too. I lost too many in two years. It breaks my heart.
I am afraid, I told my friend this morning. Remember that our time here is temporary and every day matters, he said. I guess he's right.
Omoni, that's how I used to call you instead of Om Roni. You were such a beautiful soul. Thank you for breaking my arm back then when I was just 4. Now you're breaking my heart 💔. Enjoy your next journey. Would you please say hi to mami and papi there? Tell them I miss them so much. You'll be missed 💙
turut berduka y mbak untuk pamannya
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