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I Thought I Hate People, but...

Sanur ... but I actually don't! That I realized when I had dinner with H and he asked me, "Do you think she's married? The seller, she looks young but not too young."  So I said, "Uhmm I don't know and I don't care."  He then said again, "Yea I know, but I am curious about people. I am curious about what they're doing in life." That's when it came to my mind, "Wait a minute! I am also curious about people, but not their personal life like marital status, how many kids they have, what religion they believe in. I am curious about what they think about things! Ah that's why I love talking to people, no matter how introvert I am but talking to people still excites me." Then we finished our big nasi goreng together.  Looking back at it, I never really like people randomly talking to me when I was in the zone... Like zoning in and out talking to myself. But actually no, maybe it was only that we didn't sync so I went &qu

What My Grandma Always Told Me

Daisies in Diepenheim

Now I understand why my grandma always told me to take shower, put on nice clothes, put on light make up even when I had no plan to go out. 

I grew up like other kids who never wanted to be told to get shower in the afternoon, or early in the morning. I said, "Why do I need to take shower now? I have no plan to go anywhere." of course, because I thought back then you should look presentable when you need to go out, but not when you're home. My grandma would said, "Ihh you have to clean up yourself and be representable. You look like abandoned kid now! Go get shower."

I hated it. I mean, I dont hate taking shower. I just dont like to be told to do something. 

My grandma would always put on light make up, nice lipstick, after shower. She always kept her wudhu with her after afternoon shower so she doesn't need to wipe her make up when she needed to pray. She always smells good. And oh, she asked the ER nurse to bring her lipstick and powder when she admitted to ER. The nurse seemed shocked but we knew that, she asked why then my grandma said "I have to look beautiful even when I am in ER right now."

Time flies and I am a grown up now. Had a phase in my life where I felt so depressed for months and the only achievement of the day that I could get was able to get my ass off the bed, took shower, and dressed up nicely. That was a little moment when I felt good about myself even just for a little a bit. 

This morning, I planned to go to the beach to have my walk. But the sun shines so bright this morning so I canceled my plan, and will be going this afternoon instead. I am all dressed up, put on skincare, light make up, and I smell good. It already made my day!

Then I remember how I always dressed up even when I am home teaching my kids online, I always put on nice clothes because I like it. Putting on light make up because I look fresher that way. All nice and fresh. That reminds me of my grandma.

Now I understand what she meant by looking nice and presentable even when you have no plan to go out. It's because it's nice to look at ourselves that way. You don't need people to see how beautiful or good-looking you are, but you present that beauty to yourself. Nothing fancy, just looking nice and smells good. Women love beautiful things indeed. 


I miss you, mami!

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I Thought I Hate People, but...

Sanur ... but I actually don't! That I realized when I had dinner with H and he asked me, "Do you think she's married? The seller, she looks young but not too young."  So I said, "Uhmm I don't know and I don't care."  He then said again, "Yea I know, but I am curious about people. I am curious about what they're doing in life." That's when it came to my mind, "Wait a minute! I am also curious about people, but not their personal life like marital status, how many kids they have, what religion they believe in. I am curious about what they think about things! Ah that's why I love talking to people, no matter how introvert I am but talking to people still excites me." Then we finished our big nasi goreng together.  Looking back at it, I never really like people randomly talking to me when I was in the zone... Like zoning in and out talking to myself. But actually no, maybe it was only that we didn't sync so I went &qu