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Merah Putih

Gw sama Indonesia itu ibarat dua sejoli dalam love and hate relationship. Gw terlahir di tanah yang diperjuangkan orang-orang terdahulu. Nggak keitung berapa juta nyawa hilang untuk itu. Gw bersyukur gw nggak perlu lagi bawa bambu runcing untuk merebut negeri ini dari tangan penjajah. Sejak sebelum nikah gw mulai "berteman" dengan birokrasi dua negara. Birokrasi dari Belanda, tentu saja tidak seribet birokrasi di negeri ini. Segala macam email akan segera dibalas dan dibantu untuk dihubungkan ke pihak terkait atau yang menangani itu. Bahkan untuk permintaan Schengen visa tipe kunjungan keluarga di masa pandemik ini diberikan high priority dan email dibalas dalam sekejap. Sedangkan di Indonesia, aaahhh yaaa gitu dehh.

Tapi, nggak akan pernah gw pungkiri tiap kali gw denger lagu Indonesia Raya gw selalu mewek. Tiap kali liat bendera Indonesia, gw diam sebentar  berterima kasih atas nikmat bisa tinggal di negeri ini tanpa perlu memegang senjata. Gw bener-bener marah saat suami g…

Butuh perjuangan lah itu kawan

Well.. I graduated from university. Studied mathematics and finally got the degree. People always said that its a difficult major and how smart I am can study in one of good university and mathematics. Ahh I am not that smart. If only they know what I did on the university test hahaha. But hey it doesnt mean that I was cheating. No! I was just doing mathematics questions hmm maybe 2 questions out of 15. I did well on chemistry part. But math hahaha. Even daddy just saying "Are you crazy? How can you pass the test if you just ... ohhh really. Prepare for private university then".and I told him "No dad... no need to prepare another university. I can pass it. I will. Trust me". Maybe at that time daddy wanna kill me because I was too relax hahaha.. but Alhamdulillah, I can make it really well. Thank God

Studying in a good university and mathematics was not easy thing for me. I admit it. Mathematics is difficult for university level. Feel up and down is a common thing (even for other majors too). But I almost got depressed at my second year. Why? Because its too frustrating haha. But then I woke up and tell to myself "Oh.. people want to study in this good university, its not easy to study here. Come on! People are ready to doing some cheating things to be here, but me? I am here already. Its not easy to come in, even studying here. Ok.. i have to do it well. Think of parents who did many thing for me. First daughter means model for the youngers. I have to do well. I have to be the motivator for my sisters".  Nahh.. since that time, I did study harder.

Was in hard time for almost 5 years, dont wanna get much stressed, I learn another thing. Languages. I even didnt imagine that I get a job because of another ability. Was fun. Learn many things and did many thing with friends. And then graduated from lovely university. Got my first job even before graduated. Teach korean and mathematics. How  much is the salary? Hmm not so much. But dont even value everything with money. What did I do while I was there? Teach alot, even first time i hate it. Meet great students. Build up link. Then improve all of my abilities while working there. Even I wrote some books. Not my own but write books is one of my dreams. Friendship and family. I cant even imagine that I could improve alot there. See... I cant even buy all of this with money. I cant. Its so precious.

And what people think about it? "Ohh you teach now.. hmm you studied there of course you will be a teacher". But I wasnt study about pedagogic, its oure math. I cant be a teacher actually, but well.. I did. Actually i dont care what people think about me. They always value everythig from money. They dont know I was happy workin there. Most important thing is stay healthy physically and mentally hahahaha. But they just look at me like "oh yeah who are you? You just a teacher. Dont have something much in your life". Smiling! They dont know what I do and I dont care about them. Done

1,5 years teaching there, then new offering come to me. Related to one of my dreams, and I take this job. I dont even submit anything for this job. All went so smooth and well. Now, what people think about me is change. "Oh hey.. you work in S company now?? Wow... you must be so lucky get that job easily. You will get paid alot. And wow.. you will have much money. Ahhh so lucky". See... another point of view from money. This company is international one. Lots people wanna work there because they always think about the salary. Yes I admit it. I get paid really well but I lost another precious things like when I was teaching.

One of my neighbor ask me "how is it workig there? Is it good?". Well.. become an officer is not as nice as being a teacher for me. But thats life. This is Insha Allah become one step closer to reach my dream. Like it or not, just do it. And she said "ohh how lucky you are, dont have to work hard like me". She didnt study at university. Only vocation school. Well.. you cut off your struggle in high school, but I am not. I still have to study more at least 4 years than you. I felt so much in trouble that time. And now, you are done with study, even you dont have to push your brain to study more difficult and absurd thing, you just work now. Work dont need to think hard. Thats your point of view. But me. Then now, I just have to enjoy my job. My job seems easy and prestigious for you. But no. Its not even easy. Well.. its a routinity which I hate, but if this way make me one step closer to my dream, why not? I will do it.

I like to study. Everything. Studying is fun. Of course studyin my field. I dont have to push myself to study about health stuff like doctor did, but having new knowledge is the point.

Through all of hard things since then and I get into this point when people see me like "special one", it wasnt easy thing. No, i dont care what people think about me now. Well actually i dont really care what people saying about me hahaa.. they can say many bad and good thing about me, I dont care.

I wish someday I will get back to teach. Become a wife and mom and teacher :)

I dont care if people think about money first. Its normal. Life needs money. But money isnt everything. Get your money from hard work then! It just how you value your life. They way you value it! Life is too precious to think only about money right? :)

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